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5 Ways to Ease Anxiety Before Scans

Faith, Pediatric Cancer |

Honestly…this post is one that gets to me because there is no absolute way of getting rid of the wretched, horrible anxiety that goes along with scans, otherwise known as scanxiety. It blows my mind there is not an actual definition of it in the dictionary, because the anxiety associated scans is very specific. There are very few ways to ease scan anxiety. It plagues every person that has been associated with cancer. For parents, the days awaiting their child’s scans can be some of the most horrific.

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As I write this post, my son, Cooper, will be heading into his 3 months scans next week. After 67 weeks of treatment for high-risk stage 4, group 4 Rhabdomyosarcoma, we are mentally preparing for those few days that will tell us if he continues to be ‘okay’ or if the cancer is back.

The days leading up to scans, either while in treatment or post-treatment, are some of the darkest days. The “what ifs” can take us, parents, down a dark heartbreaking path, leaving us full of anxiety and fear that is almost tangible.

        • What if… the cancer is back?
        • What if…we have to start back on chemo?
        • What if…it’s too far gone to do treatment?
        • What if…our time with him is short?

There have been more moments than I can count where I wished God would give us just a small glimpse into the future to relieve my greatest fear of the loss of my child. But, a glimpse could show me something I wasn’t prepared for, such as my son standing with Jesus.

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 Here I’m giving advice, when I’m the worst at not leaning in on God enough in those moments. We can get so lost in our own thoughts and control, we almost forget He is there to relieve those fears and anxieties.

While speaking with my therapist (which I highly recommend when there is trauma), she asked me..”What if he does relapse?“. She went on to show me how far we had come and that, with God’s lead, we will continue to live and/or fight. It will be hard, but I already knew hard.

If you are facing scans in the coming months, weeks, days, I’m here to say you will get through it. The results may not be what you envision and the road ahead may be hard, but God already knows your future or your child’s future and He wants to walk with you through it.

Even the the midst of the stress and anxiety, take a moment to put it all down and just feel His presence. Listen to a song that speaks to you, have a moment of stillness with the Lord, however you best hear Him, do it. You may have to take many moments as the days approach. After scans, take yet another moment, just to be in thankfulness with Him.


5 Ways to Ease Scanxiety

Don’t Let the Enemy Control the “What Ifs”

From the day of diagnosis, the enemy found a way to crank up my anxiety in ways I never knew could exist.

It was exhausting. 

In the midst of trial, Satan has an incredible way of holding fear and anxiety over the top of us. Robbing us of joy, opportunities for blessings, and sleep. Fear over my son’s scans, fear over a long cancer battle, fear of the loss of my son’s life. It was all-consuming, but daily life still had to continue The fear and the pit in my stomach for the days leading up to scan still plague me. I think the diagnostic area of the hospital is the closest thing to a prayer war room, other than the chapel. I’ve spent more hours than I can count praying and pleading with God asking for miracles and can only imagine every other parent has done the same.

When darkness comes rolling in, we have the ability to refocus our thoughts on Christ and the magnitude of His power in all situations. Even in your fear, He is there. In your exhaustion, He is there. In your anxiety, He is there. In your anger, He is there. Choosing to refocus on Him when everything feels bleak will sustain you. There were days that I envisioned Jesus sitting beside me while I cried in the hospital room or while we were waiting on the doctors to come in to discuss scans.

      • Recognize that the ‘what if’s’ are not truth, they have not happened and may never happen.
      • Allow yourself to think about a ‘what if’ that is better than you could ever even imagine and focus only on that scenario. Granted, some days this is easier said than done, but when it does happen, trust me, the relief will be something incredible.
      • Envision yourself on the other side of whatever is to come. It may a walk in the park or a hard road ahead, but either way, you are not alone and you are stronger than you realize, especially when you are walking with Christ.
      •  If you are struggling with dark thoughts, take a few minutes a day to read Get Out of Your Head! by Jennie Allen. It helped me see my dark thoughts and fears more clearly, where they were originating from, and how to interrupt the thought pattern.

Give Yourself 10 Minutes a Day

These days finding ten minutes a day feels impossible. But, if you are heading into scans, my guess is you spend way more than ten minutes worrying about results.

Replace ten of those worry minutes with time for yourself and fill it with something positive. For me, it was, and still is, doing a morning devotional or listening to praise music while I’m in the shower.

If you can, make it the first ten minutes of your day. Allow yourself to start the day with a blessing to yourself. You are carrying a huge burden and deserve to give yourself a break. Even if it isn’t the first ten minutes, carve it out of another time in the day.

I’m sharing a few ways that I tried to keep my sanity and keep Christ centered in the days leading up to scans. Some days it was ten minutes, some days it was an hour.

Whatever that time is for you, prioritize it and use it to refocus your thoughts on Christ. Remember that even though the burden feels like it is more than you can bare, lean in on God to find your strength for yourself and your family.

Find Support

Support can mean something different to every parent or person or child. For some it is therapy, others it may be joining a class with friends or a bible study small group. None of which are wrong! When you are facing a path of unknowns, you need to be lifted. And you need to let others lift you. That may or may not make sense to you, but depending on the journey you face, it will make sense.

For me it was a combination of friends surrounding us in constant prayer. Along with meeting with a Christian counselor to equip me to deal emotionally with the cancer journey. But, also, having that close knit few friends.

Most people do not understand the pediatric cancer journey and the intense emotions that accompany such a life trauma, but that’s okay. Finding ‘your people’ is such an important part of dealing with the ups and downs of such a hard road. They want to make this all go away for you, but they can’t, so they do the next best thing and take care of you in any way they know how. And if you have specific things you need, you have to be willing to share those requests. That is not a sign of weakness. This path takes a village.

Therapy. I have found some people either truly believe in the power of therapy or really think it’s a joke. I’m a true believer you get out of it what you put into it. But, facing scans that may forever change your path, there is a “special” kind of fear and anxiety. When in the pediatric cancer journey, the fear when it comes to scans is off the charts.

This is where a therapist can equip you with tools and ways to work through the anxiety. Finding the perfect therapist may take some time, but it is worth it.  It may not be the first one or the third one, but have patience. And don’t shy away from speaking up when they are not a fit. There is a whole therapy community that connect with each other, so if they are truly good at what they do, they will help you get placed with someone that will fit better.

Take care of yourself so you can take care of your family.

Pray

Why does praying about things sometimes seem to be our last option, after we have exhausted all other self controlled options? When, really, it should be the first step. And, yes, absolutely, pray about the scans, pour your heart out to your Father. But also, remember to pray for yourself, your well being and your anxiety around God’s path for you through this journey. Ask God to provide for His provision and grace through this trial. Ask for Him to reveal the blessings within the storm. Ask Christ to show Himself in ways you can see and to show His purpose in your pain.

Heavenly Father,

I come to you in all of my rawness, Lord. I thank you for being a good Father in all things. I come to you weary, scared and fearful, Lord. Please be powerfully present with my child during his scans, Lord. Help him to feel You working in every inch of his body, continuing to heal it in every way.

Lord, I ask you to be with the medical team that will be evaluating my child. I pray that they have You in their heart and that they are amazed by the miracles that you can perform in these little bodies. Lord, I ask that you please fill me with Your ultimate peace through out the moments of the days leading up to the scans and especially on the night of the scans and results. Remind me to unload the burden of the fear and anxiety that is placed within my heart. Help me to seek only You and to use our journey for Your good. It is in Your Name, I pray.

Amen.

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